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The Master Plan

The Master Plan

More on page 97

Fudgehog

Fudgehog Forever

More on page 89

The Spamabilly Borghetti

The Spamabilly Borghetti

More on page 70

Shit Grinder

Shit Grinder

More on page 66

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The Master Plan

Posted in: The Master Plan | Comments (7)

Maximum Respect


What happens when you combine one part Dictator with two parts Fleshtone and a swig of Waxing Poetics? The Master Plan. This is some good partying, hard rockin’ music by seasoned veterans. Comprised of Keith Streng & Bill Milhizer of the Fleshtones, Paul Johnson of Waxing Poetics, the legendary Andy Shernoff of the Dictators (aka: the Christopher Columbus of Punk Rock) on vocals & bass, as well as a guest vocal from the Hoodoo Gurus’ Dave Faulkner, these guys are here to play.

From the opening track BBQ, the Brian Johnson meets screeching chicken hawk lead vocals start rattling your spinal cord and you know this album demands to be played at full volume, played often, and it’s going to be good. The tracks range from Fleshtonesque, to sounding at various points as if my cassette collection from the early 90’s had been ravaged and ransacked, rock demons belching echoes of The Cynics, Teenage Head and mysteriously, The Cars. The songs sound like old friends calling drunk at 4am, and as luck would have it I was awake anyway, contemplating opening the dusty bottle of vermouth hiding in the darkness of an empty liquor cabinet.

At times Maximum Respect is a little over produced for my garage battered brain, but for the most part it’s nearly perfect. The lyrics are dont’ take themselves too seriously and can be pretty funny, but I sometimes wonder if I’d like them better if they were in a language I couldn’t understand very well, maybe something with harsher consonants. For example, “Shake it to the left, you shake it to the right” sung in Welsh “Ysgwyd i’r chwith, i chi ei ysgwyd ar y chwith” or even German, “Shake it auf der linken Seite, schütteln Sie ihn nach links” would sound pretty wicked.

Maximum Respect is The Master Plan’s sophomore album, following 2002’s Colossus of Destiny. This CD will likely be worn out by the time album number three arrives; by that time these warhorses should be nearing rock’n’roll ascension.

Check out the official site:
http://www.myspace.com/themasterplannyc

Buy the album:
http://www.nicotinerecords.com/content/view/321/97/

Feels so good to feel.

Sean Donland @ February 28, 2010

Fudgehog Forever

Posted in: Fudgehog | Comments (3)


Are you a fan of:

* strange pasty white men in brightly-coloured tights?
* internet wallpaper that captures the joys of discovering the distort filter in photoshop?
* songs that sound like the demon two-headed love child of a threeway between zappa’s moldy corpse, a blind-drunk primus and early mastodon in heat?
* how about 7-minute epics that consist of five 1-1/2 minute songs thrown into a blender?
* brain damage?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, then fudgehog is the answer for you!!!

In the words of the immortal fudgehog:

“Fudgehog is a creature that fills onlookers with the capacity to ponder! The creature is free! Able to run as it pleases with very little fencing keeping it contained!”

Fudgehog currently has one song posted on their myspace page, a 7+ minute ditty called “Hoszko: The Aesthetically Pleasing”. It’s unclear who or what Hoszko is, but I’m pretty sure that Fudgehog has captured the sound of a paranoid schizoid off their meds. Speaking of meds, where did I leave my little red ones??? arrghhhhhh *snuffle* blart ffffffffffffffffffffff….

To learn more about Fudgehog visit their official myspace page:
http://www.myspace.com/fudgehogband

Bobby Coxwell @ February 10, 2010

The Spamabilly Borghetti

Posted in: The Spamabilly Borghetti | Comments (4)


The Spamabilly Borghetti are a rockabilly/psychobilly/rock’n’roll combo from Mutonia, near S. Arcangelo di Romagna. They stand apart from other acts in the same genre by several important factors. Mainly, the heavy influence of salsa, swing and country offset by what must be a serious case of dementia.

In their own words:

Everyone of their follow a personal project , derived from their capacity to enliven in gaudy way their performances with mechanical drags, burning robots, the components painted from the head to foots or the most of times improvising strip-tease with the involvement of people in profusion of beer and others incredible situations, leaving an indelible trace in the heart of fans

The thing I really like about their music is that when you first hear it, it sounds the way a radio does when its picking up two signals at the same time. It’s like everybody in the band is playing the same song, but somehow what comes out has been warped, beaten, and abused. The result is what I imagine the sound would be if you inserted a Buddy Holly record in an alleycat’s ass, stretched it across a turntable with furry handcuffs, and used it’s teeth as the needle. In other words, good music.

See for yourself: http://www.myspace.com/spamabillyborghetti

From hangover records:

Spamabilly born on spring ’93 in Mutonia, near S. Arcangelo di Romagna. They play a fabulous mix of rock ‘n’ roll and psychobilly, but they are distinguishable by country, swing and salsa influences and by his dementia. Spamabilly have played very numerous concerts all over Italy and in Switzerland, France, Croatia, England and Scotland. Everyone of their follow a personal project , derived from their capacity to enliven in gaudy way their performances with mechanical drags, burning robots, the components painted from the head to foots or the most of times improvising strip-tease with the involvement of people in profusion of beer and others incredible situations, leaving an indelible trace in the heart of fans. Now two members of this band play in Los Bovaros (crazy psycho-rockabilly) !!! they quit to play in 1999 and they still remain one of the most greatest band live for his mechanical robots on stage and also for his naked party full of beer and insanity funny fiesta !!!!

Sean Donland @ January 11, 2010

Shit Grinder

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They’ve been described, by themselves, as ‘three bored retards making noise in a garage.‘ The groundbreaking Shit Grinder turtle headed an intense new form of music, a sinister combination of grindcore and fast hardcore which has come to be known as Grind Poop. Influenced by the sounds of Cryptic Slaughter, Napalm Death, Bathtub Shitter, Assuck, Vomit for breakfast, Spazz, Repulsion, Gauze, and Nausea, this new music was destined for…failure.

Unfortunately for the world the short-lived grind poop movement has become not only irregular, but completely constipated. It seems no amount of laxative will flush their creative juices again. When asked what brought about this strained decision the band refused comment, replying only with the ominous statement, “we are no longer a band, its dead. we were horrible anyways. don’t message us about shows, we wont be playing any.”

If you want to relive the glory and magnificence of this Virginia Beach outfit you can still hear memorable compositions such as Poo Poo Vagina VS Retro Hippie and Shit Storm of X on their official site:

http://www.myspace.com/shitgrinder

Sean Donland @ January 10, 2010

HAMBURG RAMÖNES

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Originality is the key component which sets this groundbreaking group aside from the crowd. Their unique style, vision, and sound are completely new and destined to influence countless artists for generations to come. This new form of music, which I’ve named ‘punk rock,’ will undoubtedly change the face of modern music.

Rocking out of Germany, this band was founded in 2001 to play a wedding party. A few years later they released their debut album Free Phil Spectre, which not only galvanized their unique sound, but single handedly convinced a US jury to pardon Spectre of his murder charges, allowing him to walk away a free man.

In 2007 Axel and Hansi Ramone quit the band. They band recruited the legendary Jenzzzi Ramöne to fill in on bass duties and are still breaking new ground with the lineup of Tommy Ramöne (vocals), Ecki Ramöne(guitar), Marky Ramöne (drums), JayDee Ramöne (guitar).

The only way to get a true taste of these visionaries is to hear them. Since the music is impossible to describe, I recommend starting with their song Merry Christmas, which can be heard on their official myspace site (beware of imitators): http://www.myspace.com/hamburgramnes

Here comes another Christmas
Snow is falling down like kisses
All is come down on magic street.

The Return of Ramona

Sean Donland @ January 6, 2010

Die Schlimme Band

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Die Schlimme Band (not to be confused with Die schlimmen Finger – a band full of pre-pubescent kids who play angstful power pop punk…or some such crap) roughly translates as The worst band. They are apparently a talent less group of drunkards who play awesome music and have the greatest logo ever.

Their recordings are reminiscent of what it would sound like if you were in a basement with your head in the toilet bowl, losing a stomach full of cheap draught and Jagermeister while Iggy Pop from 1971 was playing upstairs to a crowd full of angry Oompa Loompa’s. This band sings and performs in German, so I’ve had to rely on the google translator thing for the following information:
It all started with two drunks on two bar stools at the counter in a bar between gum machine and traffic lights in the Bielefeld west. Aus den zwei Barhockern wurden vier – und die standen plötzlich auf der Bühne! From the two bar stools, four – and suddenly stood on the stage! Dann kam noch ein Barhocker dazu – dann noch zwei – und irgendwann nach 2 Jahren wurde es zu eng, und die Schlimme Band musste das Lokal verlassen … Then came another bar stool will – then another two – and sometime after 2 years, it was too closely, and the worst band had to leave the restaurant …

Das ist lange her. That was long ago. Auf Hockern wird nur noch selten gesessen. On stools will only rarely sat still. Die Gitarren wurden Lauter. The guitars were louder. Der Sound Fetter und der Sänger Dünner. Bold and the sound of singers Thinner. Und es soll sogar schon Auftritte gegeben haben, wo man ganz, ganz hinten in der Ecke ein leises, verhuschtes Flüstern vernehmen konnte: „Wieso? And it should even have given performances, where you very, very backward in the corner a soft, whispering verhuschtes could hear: “Why? Die sind doch gar nicht so Schlimm!“ But they are not so bad! “

The worst band …
… ist eine Band voller Missverständnisse: is a band full of misunderstandings:
1. 1st Missverständniss: Der Gitarrist versteht den Sänger nicht weil der Schlagzeuger zu laut ist! Misunderstanding: The guitarist sees the singer not because the drummer is too loud!
2. 2nd Missverständniss: Der Sänger versteht den Schlagzeuger nicht weil der Bassist zu laut ist! Misunderstanding: The singer understands the drummer is not because the bass is too loud!
3. 3rd Missverständniss: Der Schlagzeuger versteht den Bassisten nicht weil der Sänger zu laut ist! Misunderstanding: The drummer not understands the bassist because the singer is too loud!
4. 4th Missverständniss: Nacher haben alle blaue Flecken – und das versteht dann nur der Gitarrist! Misunderstanding: After all the bruises – and then only understands the guitarist!

Check’em out:
Die Schlimme Band on Myspace

Sean Donland @ January 5, 2010

Demon Dog Sperm

Posted in: Demon Dog Sperm | Comments (10)


Hailing from Allentown, Pennsylvania, the city once made famous by Billy Joel’s depressed, blue collar ballad by the same name, now has a new musical behemoth to carry its name forth into fame. A band not only to be proud of, but to worship. That’s right, we’re talking Demon Dog Sperm.

Demon Dog Sperm take heavy influences from the stoner metal and death metal scene, the most prominent being the oozing down tuned distortion of Acid Bath, Mortician and Six Feet Under and the song flow of Clutch, Hatebreed, and Nothingface. These influences give Demon Dog Sperm a solid music foundation and direction. Their triple vocalist attack, distinctive guitar sound, sonic bass and percussive assault combined with a even more powerful live show contribute to the bands originality. Demon Dog Sperm fills the missing piece you’ve always been looking for in metal but couldn’t put your finger on it.
This is good, wholesome music for the whole family.

Official Site
Demon Dog Sperm on Myspace

Sean Donland @ December 5, 2009

Dead Elvis and his One Man Grave

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Dead Elvis and his One Man Grave don’t need an introduction. You already know Elvis, and what he accomplished in his lifetime. His biography has become part of the tapestry of our lives, strewn around world the like a rhinestone galaxy. Like it or not, there’s no escape.

But not even death could keep this dynamic performer off the stage. He’s back, and better than ever. Casting aside the Memphis Mafia, the sycophants and hangers on, shedding the overblown stage shows and the cheesily cumbersome 30 piece orchestral bands, he’s stripped the music down its bare essence. Pure primitive, primordial rock’n’roll.

Myspace
Dead Elvis on Garage Punk

Sean Donland @ November 5, 2009

The Cumshots

Posted in: The Cumshots | Comments (0)

The Cumshots have exploded across Norway and splattered across Europe in their quest for global domination. This spunky Norwegian Death’N'Roll combo is known for its killer live shows, often ending with its drunken band members beating the crap out of each other, resulting in broken bones and after parties in the emergency room. They erected a great following playing the Quart Festival in Kristiansand when midway through their set two environmentalists appeared on stage and began screwing in a variety of positions. They’ve even won the unofficial world cup of rock in Spain. They are so famous, in fact, that they show up on the first page of google when your search for The Cumshots.

They’ve released three albums with cool titles since their conception in 1999; Last Sons of Evil, Norwegian Jesus and Just Quit Trying.
Don’t waste any time, check them out.

http://www.thecumshots.org/
http://www.myspace.com/cumshots

Sean Donland @ October 5, 2009

The Flaming Sideburns

Posted in: The Flaming Sideburns | Comments (3)

I’ve long maintained that the best rock’n’roll in the world comes out of Scandinavia. I don’t know how or why, but for some reason these folks can kick serious ass. Screaming out of Finland today we have the legendary Flaming Sideburns. Oddly enough, only one member of the band sports sideburns, and they don’t seem flaming at all.

Sounding like the abused lovechild of MC5 and New York Dolls, and looking like a gang of colorblind angry cowboy drag queens when they hit the stage, these Helsinki natives have been killing the scene for ten smoldering years, with a new album every year and a cool name to prove it.

I don’t know much about them, but who cares, it’s good ol’ rock’n'roll.
In lieu of a bio here’s a shooter recipe I invented:

    The Flaming Sideburns

1/3 shot Sambuca
1/3 shot Overproof Rum
1/3 shot amaretto.

Stand back, ignite, burn your face off.

For more incredible insights on the Flaming Sideburns:

http://www.myspace.com/theflamingsideburns

flaming.gif

Sean Donland @ December 23, 2008